The harvest season is always a rough time for me. It is really a time of year that God uses to work in my heart and make some changes. My overall goal for this harvest was to have a better attitude about it. To change my perspective, viewing it in a positive light instead of thinking of all of the extra work it means for me. It is, after all, an important time of year for my family.
I think I started off well. I was flexible if asked to help with something that was not on my original day’s schedule (something that is very hard for a planner like me). But in the middle of October, things got rocky. Looking back, I know the cause of it.
After about a month of not seeing my husband and having normal communication with him, I began to doubt his affection for me. I didn’t doubt that he loved me. I knew he did, of course. But, I doubted his ability to care about me, to think about my feelings. It was the combination of the lack of quality time and the overall consumption of his mental capacity. It sounds bad, but during this time of year, my hubby’s brain is just overloaded with other thoughts. This is the time of year for him that he provides for our family. He is somewhat one-track minded. I know this, but it is still hard for me.
Also during this time, I question my parenting skills. I am the only one at meals, bath time, bed time. The parenting duties fall mostly on me. I find myself less patient and more overwhelmed. The kids only have me most of the time, and I feel like I don’t meet the standards.
It may sound like I’m whining about my circumstances. That is not my intention. We all have hard, stressful times in life when we feel under appreciated, under par, or overwhelmed. There are many different jobs that have seasons of busyness.
I just want to share what I have been learning about life in the hard times.
Somehow, during this season, I have managed to make time to attend a Bible study. (So important to my overall well-being. Don’t cut this out of your life just because you are busy. Studying God’s word is life giving.) We are studying the book of Revelation. I just recently read a passage that was written to a church whose people probably felt a lot like I have been feeling. They were facing suffering and persecution. They were probably experiencing doubt too.
In Revelation 3:8, Jesus says to them,
“I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.”
Listen, in our times of doubt, Jesus sees us still. He sees us struggling, but He also sees us obeying. He sees us staying true to Him and His word even when we feel weak. This door that Jesus mentions? This is the door to Heaven. It is the way to eternal life. Trust and obedience to Jesus, even if it is from a weak person barely making it, leads to eternal life.
Satan, the enemy of our souls, the father of lies, loves to use this tool of doubt. It is how he got Adam and Eve to sin against God for the very first time in the Garden of Eden. He caused Eve to doubt the truth God had told them.
“God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it [the tree of the knowledge of good and evil]; if you do, you will die.’ “You won’t die,” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (Genesis 3:3-5).
From the beginning, Satan has tempted us to doubt the word of God. He uses every lie he can think of. Too often, he succeeds. This is why we must arm ourselves with the Word of God and allow it to shine light on the doubts and lies we are tempted to believe. Here are some of my favorite bits of truth that I have been clinging to lately.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9).
“Work willingly at whatever you do, as thought you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” (Colossians 3:23).
“Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5).
“‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
Might I encourage you to find your own doubt beaters? Find verses that speak truth into your current situations and the doubt you face. Because, when doubt faces truth, truth always wins.