What’s Holding You Back

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By Executive Director, Kathy A. Weckwerth

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This past week I enjoyed a day watching my granddaughter, Cordelia.

Cordie’s hair is light blonde with natural curl, and from the back, she looks like howw my middle daughter, Chandra did when she was two and a half.  In certain moments, I find myself back in time … remembering.

But on this sleepy, dark afternoon, I felt the warmth of the kitchen calling to me and wanted to do what I did in my early twenties, when I was at home with my little girls and life was peace filled.  I wanted to bake cookies.  But alas, my daughter’s pantry was bare of the important ingredients for enjoyable cookie baking!

As I slipped Cordie’s tennis shoes on, the ones with blinky princess appliqués, I grabbed her little hand and said, “We need ingredients for ginger snaps.  Let’s walk to the store.”

I lifted Cordelia into the stroller and we made our way out to the sidewalk.  But something strange happened.  It took every ounce of strength I had to push the stroller.  I thought to myself … this is bizarre!  What was going on, I questioned.

The more I pushed, the harder it became to get anywhere.  I began to feel every muscle in my arms and even my back exerting energy, yet still, I got a few feet from when I pushed the stroller in the short moments before.

I stopped and prayed.  I asked God what I was doing wrong.  Should I bother my son-in-law at work?  It seems to me that today’s strollers, car seats, and baby paraphernalia are all created for brilliant scientists, not for the every day 50+ year old grandma.

I looked at the brake release on each of the back tires.  Nothing.  They were loose.  And yet, I could not get anywhere easily.

As I peered over Cordie’s bright tennis shoes, I spotted my problem.  Not only did the stroller have a brake on the back tires, but there was also one connected to the front tire.  That brake was engaged!  No wonder I couldn’t move easily.  I was holding us back by not releasing the brake.

Isn’t this a simple way to look at our lives?  How often do you and I put the brakes on something because we can’t understand it, or we don’t know how it works.  Or maybe we’re afraid to move ahead.  We stop ourselves or hold ourselves back from moving forward.  We want to blame anyone and everything else, but in reality, it’s us … we’re holding ourselves back.

This week I looked at my radio show.  I love everything about it.  I love the guests, I love the topics, I love how God is orchestrating every little detail.  And yet, I put the brakes on myself because I fear connecting with stations who might possibly say, “No, we don’t want your show.”  There it is … rejection.

The brakes of what might happen are holding me back to what could happen!

I am praying fervently today for some great dose of courage, for some guidance and discernment, and mostly, for GOD to release the brakes on my life.  I’m ready to move forward!  How about you?