Our first fight as a married couple was over a game of Boggle.   Yes, you read that right-it was over a game.  We were playing a friendly game and I was cleaning the clock of my competitor.

The problem was… I wasn’t competing… but he was.  When I swept the board one more time, Gary threw his pencil in frustration with himself, and let out an exasperated, “AAHHH!”  My eyes popped and my spirit deflated.   The fun of playing was just eliminated for me.  Gary and I talked our way through our differences putting the game on hold for awhile.

We have joked about that moment and used it as a reference point many times.  We have unwrapped and discovered our differences through the years of our marriage. 

We are not the same. We play, live, think and respond differently.  We are constantly reminding ourselves to delight in those differences and celebrate them! 

It wouldn’t take you long to make a list of the differences between you and your spouse.   Unfortunately when we make those lists mentally, we see the one side as wrong and the other side as right.  The differences we have are just that…differences.  We aren’t in a competition with our spouses.  We are in a partnership, a team, a unit.  We are meant to work together.

 God is the author of relationships.  His word is full of valuable tools for how to make our earthly relationships work.  Most of them focus on dying to “self” and learning to serve one another in love.  When you set your heart on strengthening your relationship with your Heavenly Father, you will be amazed by the help His Spirit gives for loving unconditionally.  Grab a New Testament letter like Colossians, Philippians or Ephesians and hunt through it looking for the tools for relationship building.

 If you find yourself in “competition” with your spouse and it’s not a scheduled contest; stop and remind yourself :  you are on the same team.  Have a “team” meeting.  Do a mental evaluation of where your thoughts are.  Celebrate your differences.  Rejoice in who God has given you to enjoy life with.  

Celebrating is a lot more enjoyable than fighting. 
  1. Kathy07-08-11

    Susie…thank you for this good reminder! Sometimes as we women we realize we just don’t think the same as our husbands, and it can be challenging. I love the way you’re encouraging us to celebrate those differences instead of complain about them.
    Thank you!